Agonizing torture, no relief,
Tears shed silently as shrill sudden cries would hurt,
Face of wrentching pain, grinding gnashing teeth,
Movement -- AHH! -- NO!
Pleading eyes to all around - rescue me!!
Help - stop - no more - tears...
Hour goes by, today fades, all around prickes, probing,
What to do is the question... everyone is asking...
Peace comes through the Lord,
Pain releiver, sedation, and Prayer,
The latter is most needed.
Asleep, nothing is felt, a body, needing to be put to order,
Procedure... one step at a time, hard work, pulling, POP!
Waking up....... Hours.....
No pain, exhaustion, sleep drawing, calling, begging,
Sleep appeased, time passes, wakening enough to speak,
Eyes open, more time, distractions, sleep,
Out of bed, heading home... tired... in need of rest...
Home, in bed, sleep will come, then healing...
Continuing in prayer...
Friday, May 25, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
“Days of Winding” 4-14-07
(This is more understandable in my word document becuase the art of the poetry is not only in the words chosen but also in the way they spaced on the page like a wandering winding path.)
Storm Showers Scatter
Sunny Son Rays
Barriers Breaking Boulders
Shrouded Stunted Surrender
Willingly Un-Willing
Fully Wholly Wanted Un-Wanting
Un-Warranted Un-Giving
Warranted Wanted Given
Drained Gone Empty
Rain Sun Son
Cleaning Showing Growing
Dark Tall Strong Oak
Among Safety’s Branches
Hidden Comforted
Misted Veiled Un-Seen
Raining Gusts Tears
Sobs Sighs Shaking
Certainty of Un-Certainty
Life’s Long Road
Storm Showers Scatter
Sunny Son Rays
Barriers Breaking Boulders
Shrouded Stunted Surrender
Willingly Un-Willing
Fully Wholly Wanted Un-Wanting
Un-Warranted Un-Giving
Warranted Wanted Given
Drained Gone Empty
Rain Sun Son
Cleaning Showing Growing
Dark Tall Strong Oak
Among Safety’s Branches
Hidden Comforted
Misted Veiled Un-Seen
Raining Gusts Tears
Sobs Sighs Shaking
Certainty of Un-Certainty
Life’s Long Road
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
“Side note:”
Tears I shed in solitude
When they are able to flow…
It hurts to not be able to cry.
Especially when friends
Seeming to rise and grow
Then in the moment die.
When they are able to flow…
It hurts to not be able to cry.
Especially when friends
Seeming to rise and grow
Then in the moment die.
“Instrument” 3-21-06
Why O’Lord? – I care so much!
I want my friends to see.
But, then again, O’Lord, my God,
Please don’t let them see me!
I want my friends to see.
But, then again, O’Lord, my God,
Please don’t let them see me!
“Emotion.” 2-11-07
Human reactionary inward focused expressions.
Outward thought of inward feelings.
Heart aching, moral crushing, hope shattering, standard
bending,… pain for another.
I see thieves, questions, hearts, minds, friends, comfort,
hurt, circles, thoughts, emotions, care, flirting, joy,
closeness, controversy, passions, and people.
Dancing… close, touch, hair, guy, girl, roller coaster,
emotions… bold, both, wild, questions,
unquestioned, hurt, fate, pain…
No closeness, friend… fading thought, PAIN!, torn,
DEATH, gone, morbidly tearing, questions die
on the tongue, parting soon… gone…
EMOTIONS!, distance, wounds, salt, renting open.
Nothing feels worse!
Oh, GOD!
closeness gone.
friend dead.
people die.
time continues.
again ALONE.
wrenched, my heart, when I try!
Oh, so that I could cry!
Best friend… gone.
Outward thought of inward feelings.
Heart aching, moral crushing, hope shattering, standard
bending,… pain for another.
I see thieves, questions, hearts, minds, friends, comfort,
hurt, circles, thoughts, emotions, care, flirting, joy,
closeness, controversy, passions, and people.
Dancing… close, touch, hair, guy, girl, roller coaster,
emotions… bold, both, wild, questions,
unquestioned, hurt, fate, pain…
No closeness, friend… fading thought, PAIN!, torn,
DEATH, gone, morbidly tearing, questions die
on the tongue, parting soon… gone…
EMOTIONS!, distance, wounds, salt, renting open.
Nothing feels worse!
Oh, GOD!
closeness gone.
friend dead.
people die.
time continues.
again ALONE.
wrenched, my heart, when I try!
Oh, so that I could cry!
Best friend… gone.
“Broken” 12-28-06
Tears, they come readily as uncertainty seems certain.
Questions unanswered, tomorrow, doubts.
Why do things happen? Why to those I love?
Care, it is impossible to give when I must do nothing.
Time, the only healer: it must be taken and done.
Why can’t I be patient? Why it seems so slow?
I want tomorrow to come before tomorrow is here.
I want what is right but always find the other ways.
Why is life short? Why is the road long?
Fear, afraid of what might come, the unknown.
Look back, learn from the past, doesn’t always work.
Why is hind sight 20/20? Why do my mistakes bring hope?
Emotion, hope, fear, tears, care Questions.
All built to last forever, never to be fully understood.
Why is my life the way it is? Why do I ask, try or care?
Thoughts pooled in the mind, things to forget, leave behind.
Truth can be found by the Source, Hope Eternal, He is the Course.
Why does He love me? Why did He give Himself?
His choice is to break me, broken I become.
Knowing I can trust is hard. Giving in is worse.
Lord, Why is it so hard? Lord, Take me, Make me trust You.
Questions unanswered, tomorrow, doubts.
Why do things happen? Why to those I love?
Care, it is impossible to give when I must do nothing.
Time, the only healer: it must be taken and done.
Why can’t I be patient? Why it seems so slow?
I want tomorrow to come before tomorrow is here.
I want what is right but always find the other ways.
Why is life short? Why is the road long?
Fear, afraid of what might come, the unknown.
Look back, learn from the past, doesn’t always work.
Why is hind sight 20/20? Why do my mistakes bring hope?
Emotion, hope, fear, tears, care Questions.
All built to last forever, never to be fully understood.
Why is my life the way it is? Why do I ask, try or care?
Thoughts pooled in the mind, things to forget, leave behind.
Truth can be found by the Source, Hope Eternal, He is the Course.
Why does He love me? Why did He give Himself?
His choice is to break me, broken I become.
Knowing I can trust is hard. Giving in is worse.
Lord, Why is it so hard? Lord, Take me, Make me trust You.
“Pain” 1-11-07
Silence…
No words spoken…
No thoughts transferred…
No closeness, as things fall apart…
It is not a want for distance…
It is a want for change, renewal…
It is a want for time to understand…
Why are things the way they are?
Why did I react the way I did?
Why, my want is to change?
How can one understand?
How can anything change?
How, without interaction?
Is there still care?
Is there still a want to be known?
Is there still a way?
No closeness, as things fall apart…
No thoughts transferred…
No words spoken…
Silence…
No words spoken…
No thoughts transferred…
No closeness, as things fall apart…
It is not a want for distance…
It is a want for change, renewal…
It is a want for time to understand…
Why are things the way they are?
Why did I react the way I did?
Why, my want is to change?
How can one understand?
How can anything change?
How, without interaction?
Is there still care?
Is there still a want to be known?
Is there still a way?
No closeness, as things fall apart…
No thoughts transferred…
No words spoken…
Silence…
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